Addicted to unhealthy sex acts

I should mention that my girlfriend doesn't neglect me. She happily surprises me more often than many would, it just doesn't seem like I appreciate this.

Some women just are not into oral sex. Talk to her about it and tell her how you really feel and she may do the same for you. Trying sometings different may help you and her. I dont know much about this but I hate that to because I was in a relationship where I was made do things i didnt want to do. This is why I say talk to your girlfriend about it.

hugs
Rochell

The sad part about this is that she has the same reasons. Besides the obvious reasons for not liking oral she was also in a couple of past relationships where the guys guilted her frequently into it. I don't go that far, but I know that my fixation on it brings back bad memories for her. I have to stop and be happy with the amazing sex that we have together.

Yes you dont want to push her away. You love her so just show her you understand what she is going through. If you dont make it such a big deal she just might come around. Sex supposed to be fun and exciting, if she dont feel that you either one of you will be happy.

I think it's important for you to figure out whether or not you really have a sexual addiction and not some other type of sexual problem. And you can figure that out fairly easily with the Sexual Addiction Screening Test. This instrument was designed by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, to help folks such as you find an answer to that question. The test can be found on either of two (2) websites:

Sex Help
www.sexhelp.com/

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/

On the Home Page of either site, right at the top of the page, you will find the question, "Am I a Sex Addict?" If you will click on that question, the test will come up for you. This thing can be taken right there online (it will only take you three or four minutes to complete it), and then be submitted for scoring. In just a few second, you'll have your answer. A score of 11 or higher usually indicates that a sexual addiction is present.

If you are sexually addicted, then a recovery program is what you need so that this addiction doesn't totally destroy the relationship you now have with your girlfriend. On the other hand, if sexual addiction isn't the problem, that would be good information for any future therapist you employ to know so that they can begin looking at other possible diagnoses.

Thanks, I appreciate the links. I will take the quiz now.

some women have an aversion to oral sex because of the way it was presented to us when we were younger. Beyond guilt, sadly it was a part of life and makes the correlation between the act and feelings of love very difficult. I hope you two can work through this.

Some girls dont like it, others say its gross and some just dont wanna do it. I think by not pressuing her into it is respecting her. Thought if u do it with other people in her back it is disrespecting her.
Come to a middle ground with her, do it 3-4 times a month, if shes ok with that!
P.S. the fact that she got pressured in the past might turn her off completly too of oral sex!

Understand that "healthy sexuality" is when both parties openly agree to the sex act, without coercion, guilt, or other manipulative manners.

If you girlfriend doesn't want to perform oral sex on you, then understand that she doesn't love you any less, and perhaps the "fetish" with oral sex does come from a perverse view of sex as portrayed by pornography.

Also, keep in mind that sex in general is only a small expression of what love really is. You need to build up your spiritual, emotional, and non-sexual physical intimacy before you can really and truly enjoy the sexual intimacy!