Don't know what to say here, but...

Hi Walter,

The good news is that there is plenty of help available today for the sex or porn addict wanting to get into recovery. Perhaps the best place for you to start this process would be to learn a bit about this disease so you'll have an idea of what you will be up against. The quickest and easiest way to learn about sex and porn addiction would be to read a book or two about it. Generally, I suggest folks like yourself start with, "Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction", by Patrick J.. Carnes, Ph.D. This is the first book that was ever written about sexual addiction for the lay person, and it will give you all the basic information you'll need to get started on a recovery program for yourself. Now I don't know if your wife is aware of your addiction, but if she is, and if she will be supporting you in your recovery, you might want to let her read the book after you're done with it. That way, she have a basic understanding of this addiction, too. Dr. Carnes has written a number of other books that deal with various aspects of sexual addiction, and you can take a look at some of them down the road a bit. But if you'd like to take a look at what all he's written, you can go to Gentle Path Press to see what's available (www.gentlepath.com). "Out of the Shadows" can be purchased from Gentle Path, or from: www.amazon.com.

After you've read the book, you might want to take a look at a website called Recovery Nation (www.recoverynation.com/). This is a treatment program of sorts that works very well with sexual addictions. It consists of a series of written exercises that you can work at your own pace, and in the privacy of your own home. The program is FREE unless you decide to use the services of mentors which they have available, if that would interest you. There is a small fee for that service. If your wife is with you on your recovery, she might want to take a look at the program they have available for the partners/spouses of sex addicts. And the have a third program available which is for the couple together. There is no charge for any of these programs unless you decide to use the services of a mentor.

As far as the support groups for sex addicts go, there are five (5) national fellowships which together sponsor thousands of weekly support group meetings in cities and towns all across the country. These groups are all Twelve Step groups (similar to Alcoholics Anonymous), but they have been designed especially for sex addicts. The fellowship's names and their contact information is as follows:

Sexaholics Anonymous (S.A.)
www.sa.org/
(866)-424-8777

Sex Addicts Anonymous (S.A.A.)
saa-recovery.org/
(800)-477-8191

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.)
www.slaafws.org/
(210)-828-7900

Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (S.C.A.)
www.sca-recovery.org/
(800)-977-HEAL

Sexual Recovery Anonymous (S.R.A.)
www.sexualrecovery.org/
NO NATIONAL PHONE NUMBER LISTED

On each fellowship's website, you should be able to find a listing of all of their registered support group meetings. The listing will be indexed by states, and then by individual cities and towns within each state. Each group listed will show the day of the week the group meets, where it meets, and what time everybody gets together. This will make it easy for you to find a group that meets on a day, time, and location that is convenient for you.

Now if there is nothing listed on any of the fellowship's websites that will work for you, or if what is shown won't work do to scheduling conflicts, take a look at the information concerning each fellowship's telephone groups and online meetings. Something here should surely work for you, and information on these groups can be found on each of the websites. For your information, all Twelve Step groups are FREE, but they will usually pass the hat at the end of each group, and most folks will toss in a dollar, if they have it. The money goes to pay for coffee which they'll have at each and every Twelve Step group meeting, and to pay a little something for the use of the meeting space.

If your wife would be interested, there are also Twelve Step groups for the partners/spouses of sex addicts, and there is one group that is meant for couples who are in recovery. If you'd like information on either of these options, let me know.

Finally, I want to give you three (3) "mega-websites", each of which contains all kinds of information and referrals related to sexual addiction and recovery. There's a lot of information here, so please, take your time reviewing everything so that you don't accidentally miss something by mistake:

Sex Help
www.sexhelp.com/

Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/

Sexual Recovery Institute
www.sexualrecovery.com

On a couple of these sites, you will be able to find listings of Certified Sexual Addiction Therapists, folks who have a lot of additional training that helps them work with sex addicts. If you'd like to get into therapy, these would be the kind of people you'd want to be working with.

That gives you a pretty good start on your recovery program. I hope something here proves helpful to you. If you have any questions, or if I may be of any further assistance, please let me know. I'm always happy to help in any way I can. Take care, and best of luck with your recovery program.

Charlie